I Am Not Crossing That Bridge When I Come To It
Sometimes It Is A Bridge Too Far: Living With Gephyrophobia
I SUFFER from gephyrophobia: An anxiety disorder that causes an unnatural fear of⦠bridges.
Yup, bridges!
Thatβs me. π
I was struck down with gephyrophobia when I was about 18 years old.
Maybe you have it too? There are lots of us out here.
Itβs time us gephyrophobics to stand up and say, βNo! This is a bridge too far! I will NOT cross that bridge when I come to it.β
β¦ and then let our significant others drive us over the bridge.
If you start sweating, get heart palpitations and feel faint when you cross a bridge, you probably have bridge-a-phobia.
I wish I was one of you lucky people who can just⦠drive over a bridge without getting the vapors. Man, that must be nice.
I βcaughtβ gephyrophobia from my mother who is also a sufferer. Itβs either a learned behavior or genetic. Probably learned.
But bridges?
Really?
Come on, life.
Why?
Once I was in an airplane looking down at a bridge and said, βWow. That is one high bridge. Iβm never driving over that bridge.β
Irrational.
Like all phobias.
The biggest problem with this phobia is that:
THERE ARE GAD DANG BRIDGES EVERYWHERE!
You DO have to cross that bridge when you come to it.
Just try not to faint.
Like I have.
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Duluth, MN
Iβve lived in some cities with some really, really tall and scary bridges.
Duluth, MN. This is where I first really noticed my fear of bridges. I was in my early twenties when I lived here.
There are two enormous bridges in Duluth that cross the Duluth-Superior Harbor. They were built high enough for sea-going vessels to pass under.
Those bridges are HIGH BRIDGES.
The worst is The Blatnik Bridge. The high-high bridge. π
Come to think of it, I should say I have a fear of high bridges. The bridges that have their own hills built into them.
In Duluth, MN, I often had to go across the harbor to Superior, Wisconsin. Right across the bay.
Luckily, I knew of a secret bridge on the far south side of town called, The Oliver Bridge. It is a strange old bridge. It is rickety and has a railroad that goes over the top of it.
Once when I was going over The Oliver Bridge, a taconite pellet fell off a train and cracked my windshield.
I didnβt mind the Oliver Bridge, but lots of people who claim they arenβt scared of bridges WONβT drive over The Oliver Bridge.
Wimps!
Minneapolis, MN
Fast-forward about five years. I was living in Minneapolis, MN.
Again, bridges everywhere! By then I was considering moving to the middle of a cornfield in Iowa.
Luckily, in Minneapolis the bridges were pretty flat. They crossed the Mississippi from point to point. No problem! I could drive over those bridges.
Way better than Duluth, I thought.
I decided that I needed to get hold of this whole gephyrophobia thing, so I called a psychotherapist and made an appointment.
I did the work. I did exposure therapy. I was getting better. Bridges didnβt bother me so much anymore.
This was in 2007.
Some of you might know where this is heading.
The I-35 Bridge Collapse
On August 1, 2007, my wife was driving home from work on the north side of Minneapolis. We were talking over our cell phones. I looked at the traffic map and told her to come down the 280 instead of I-35, thank god.
Our phones cut out. A system overload.
About ten minutes later I learned that the I-35 bridge had collapsed.
WTF??
Was I hearing that right?
I was actually in therapy due to my fear of bridges. The therapist who was constantly telling me that my fear of bridges was βunjustifiedβ mustβve said, βGod damn it,β to herself.
The I-35 bridge was a major bridge, albeit a βlowerβ bridge. Iβd just driven over it the day before.
(everybody in Minneapolis at the time has a story about how they or somebody they knew were almost on the I-35 bridge that evening)
The next few days were utter chaos. We lived right up the road from the I-35 bridge. We crossed it all the time.
They closed the other bridges around us. It was death and destruction.
Peter Jennings and Brian Williams even flew into town to cover the tragedy.
Letβs just say I needed a few more years of therapy after that incident.
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Over the years, my fear of bridges has come and gone. Itβs way better now. I can usually drive over normal-sized bridges. The taller bridges are left for
to drive. She has no problem.I have *ridden* over the Chesapeake Bay Bridge on my way to Delaware. Why was I going to Delaware? Youβd have to ask my parents.
The Chesapeake Bay Bridge is so dang high thereβs a company called The Kent Island Express: Chesapeake Bay Bridge Drive Over Service. Theyβll drive you over it for $40. Thatβs money well spent for people like us!
A year and a half ago we moved to Newport, Oregon. It has a high bridge to beat all high bridges.
The Yaquina Bay Bridge.
The bridge is high. It is skinny. On windy days a special βCaution: High Windsβ sign starts blinking (honestly, I donβt know what youβre supposed to do but drive through the wind).
A few years ago a semi-truck blew over, but not off, the bridge.
The Yaquina Bay Bridge connects Newport to South Beach, Oregon. Not Florida, that would be really long.
I can drive over this bridgeβ¦ but I donβt drive over it. I can ride over it without fainting.
Luckily, itβs a pretty short bridge.
The moral of the story? I donβt know.
Iβll probably always have at least some glimmer of this bridge phobia.
Iβm sure there are other people who have this weird phobia.
If youβre one of us, welcome.
Youβre not alone.
We should start a club.
Reading this gives me gephyrophobia and especially after the Baltimore bridge recently collapsed post collision.
I canβt believe I found this right now! I was just yesterday discussing this bridge fear of mine with my daughter who could walk over anything backwards in the dark. I havenβt been confronted by my fear for so long I had forgotten I had it, until last week when I was in London and started flippantly walking over Waterloo Bridge. I stopped to look at a sign identifying all the buildings that used to be on the skyline. When I looked back to where Iβd started, I froze! I couldnβt go forward or back! I was stuck a third of the way over. This thing had silently crept up on me like the shadow of a monster!! I did finally draw up my courage and run back to where I started, but all of my memories of terrible crossings came to the fore after that. How could I forget!? I used to have nightmares of driving off bridges. I used to have panic attacks behind the wheel. I even used to make myself face these things, to no avail. I made myself drive over the Chesapeake Bay Bridge and back, hyperventilating the whole time. What is up with me that I could simply forget such a huge fear? I walk over small bridges at home without a thought in my head. Iβd say itβs progress, mellow-aging, experience, but the fact is, in the right circumstance, the fear STILL EXISTS, even when Iβm not anticipating it. The brain is a strange beast, isnβt it?