The King Tides Of Oregon And TikTok FAME!
How To Go Viral By Almost Getting Swept Out To Sea
For a brief period of time, 2022-2023, TikTok was my favorite place to peruse the internet. I scrolled my phone until the top-layer of my thumb wore off.
I still enjoy TikTok, occasionally, especially
’s page. That guy is funny. (Go check out his videos: tiktok.com/@jasonkpargin)When I tell people that I have a TikTok account, they usually look at me like I am lying. And an account where I actually post videos? Even crazier!
A fifty-year old… on TikTok? What is wrong with you, dude?
First of all, don’t call me dude.
Second, it isn’t all just synchronized dancing and kids eating soap. There may be a lot of that, sure, but TikTok is everything and anything. You just have to let the algorithm get to know you. You know, get to be your buddy… understand your inner-thoughts. Exactly what the Chinese Government wants. Right?
Conspiracist!
There are some really talented, funny people on TikTok, and not just me!
Here’s a guy who live streams shrimp raves.
[Jeez, sounds like I work in the TikTok PR department]
For no real reason, at some point I decided I’d start a channel on TikTok. My sixteen year old son begged me not to. I did it… anyway.
Here’s a link to my “channel” in case you need proof! (do they call it a channel??) www.tiktok.com/@rockwellesque
I don’t like recording myself on video, so I made a TikTok Nature Channel. This is before I discovered Notes on Substack. Now I subject all you good people to my nature videos on Notes.
My nature channel is pretty simple. Just waves, trees, ocean, lakes, and animals.
And then, in December of 2022, came… THE KING TIDES
The King Tides Of The Oregon Coast & TikTok FAME Achieved!
Before we moved to the Oregon Coast, I had never heard of these King Tides.
I was a ‘Valley Person'.’ A Willamette Valley person. A Flatlander. Why would I?
So, when the local newscaster said that, “Well, folks, it’s King Tides season again…” I was like, what? WTF is King Tides Season??
Apparently, The King Tides happen about three times per year in the winter. Sometimes four. It all depends on the whims of Poseidon.
My very scientific explanation of the King Tides:
The moon is like, really close to the earth and pulls the ocean tides higher… thereby creating SUPER WAVES!
This King Tides hit the Pacific Northwest pretty hard. More than anywhere else in the world.
I’m really building this thing up, aren’t I?
I Film The Viral Sneaker Wave Video To Beat All Sneaker Wave Videos!
So, there I was with my TikTok Nature Channel, a 2019 iPhone SE and some time on my hands.
And it was high tide during the King Tides.
To make it even better, there was a big storm out at sea.
Look at me, talking like a seaman!
It was the perfect recipe for…
Really big waves!
I headed down to Nye Beach in Newport, OR. There are really good beach access points there, especially in the winter when all you tourists aren’t here.
On a normal day, the Nye Beach reaches about a quarter mile before you can even touch the ocean.
Not on December 26th of 2022.
The beach was covered in water. But still…
I went about halfway down the ramp and monitored the whole situation. I pulled out my baby iPhone and started filming.
And then, it happened.
A sneaker wave.
The bane of the Pacific.
Sneaker waves… they sneak up on you and drag you out to sea.
People get killed by these things all the dang time!
The wave really didn’t look like anything. Just a little wave. A nice little wave.
I kept filming.
And then, without warning,
BAM!
A sneaker wave snuck right out of the King Tide and tried to pull me out to sea!
Poseidon tried to claim me as his own!
But more importantly, I kept filming, and got the whole thing on tape.
Right after the killer wave receded, some fools with a dog went right out onto the beach. I mean, there’s gonna’ be some good agates, but they were standing right next to me when all this happened.
But luckily, as you might have guessed,
I SURVIVED!
After I got home, without thinking, I posted it on TikTok. I called it “Sneaker Attack Wave.”
Then… I forgot about it. I barely watched it before I posted it. I thought it was a cool video.
Whatever.
And then… the notifications started rolling in.
“You stupid a**hole! You just stood there??”
“What kind of idiot would go that close to the ocean.”
“You almost died!”
“That was super rad!” [I’m just paraphrasing here]
etc. etc. etc.
You gotta’ love the trolls. The more comments, the more the algo pushes you up.
For about six months it was the top “Sneaker Wave” video on TikTok.
Who would’ve guessed. Me and my little Nature Chanel.
I’m blushing!
Since then it has received 1.9 Million views and over 100,000 “likes.”
Do you want to know how much money I’ve made from this video??
$00000
What Is The Secret To Going Viral On TikTok?
There is one, surefire way to get a video to go viral on TikTok.
Almost die in a sneaker wave.
Or in a parachute.
Or on a boat.
Or in a car wreck.
Whatever.
And film it.
Just make it look like you almost die in the video.
Because if the viewers of TikTok believe that, that video will skyrocket. You will become rich with likes.
And remember… ignore all the haters and trolls. The more comments they make, the higher your video gets pushed.
So after all that build-up… here’s the video:
It would probably get even more views if you actually died. You probably only want to try that as a last resort, though.