46 Comments
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Peter Shull's avatar

Five-stars. Would recommend. The tension was real.

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Adam Rockwell's avatar

Thanks, Peter!😅

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John Toma | NOSTALGIA NATION's avatar

Laughing my ass off reading this. I used to deliver pizza with my dad back in the day, so I feel you on this one! Lol. By the way, I've been to Subway and they were out of bread... I was like, Whachya talkin' bout willis?!!! Subway out of bread?? I think I stopped eating Subway after that.

Also, I would likely pass on any Subway doordash orders... but that's just me LOL

I hope the fish monger had the worst season of fishing in his sea career because of that four star review! 😜🤣🤣

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Adam Rockwell's avatar

Thanks John! Out of bread… 😆😆 Man, and here I thought meatballs were bad!! I love that you just stopped going to Subway after that 😂😂

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AHaikü4U's avatar

My ex-wife ‘dashes’…

We talk sometimes while she drives,

(She has ‘Horror Tales)…🙂🤪

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Mary B's avatar

I hope you and your son play yourselves in this episode when it's hopefully on TV someday. 😂 So good. So small town and charming and funny. I wish I could upload an image in my comments as I want to draw a tuna boat named Safeway. 😂 Oh! I forgot to add this historical bit when Subway bread was declassified as bread because it has too much sugar in it to be classified as bread. https://www.tastingtable.com/1043812/the-subway-bread-controversy-explained/#:~:text=Subway%20filed%20its%20appeal%20on,really%20be%20regarded%20as%20confectionery.

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Adam Rockwell's avatar

Thanks, Mary! 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

I have read that about the bread before but totally forgot! No wonder the meatball sub tastes so good LOL!

… A Tuna Boat Named Subway 😹😹😹 That’s going to be the name of our Two-man play!

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Mary B's avatar

Yessssssss!!! 😂

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John E. Dobbs's avatar

I loved this account! Thanks for sharing it!

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Adam Rockwell's avatar

Thanks, John, I appreciate that!! 😸

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Chris Fehr's avatar

Lol, I have a hard time giving anything 5/5. I have not yet had food delivered to the house since it became an app.

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Kathy Enriquez-Nguyen's avatar

I loved this hahaha. Had so much fun reading it. That was wild. 4 stars?! If Nezuko was there, she would eat all his tuna!

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Adam Rockwell's avatar

Thanks Kathy 😹😹 Yeah, somebody, other than me, should eat that tuna LOL!

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Kathy Enriquez-Nguyen's avatar

I would join in! Hahaha

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Chloe Ackerman's avatar

This is hysterical, loved it! I also work in a rural Oregon town, and the small-town blacklisting is REAL.

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Adam Rockwell's avatar

Thank Chloe 😄! Yeah, I can ahold a petty grudge 😂

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Megan Lee's avatar

I had a grin on my face the entire time I read this 😂 What a delightful, funny read!!! 🙏 That Subway sounds absolutely AWFUL 😳 🤣

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Adam Rockwell's avatar

Thank you Megan 😄 They ain’t got no meatballs at that Subway, but they got heart 💙 (unfortunately that’s what the cold cut combo is made of) 🫀

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Dean FKingGuy's avatar

We've really screwed ourselves by insisting on 5 stars for everything. In every field it's now the standard and anything less is considered sub par. Despite pretty much all our experiences being 3 to 4 stars at best, and that's totally fine. 3 is “expected” 4 is “great” 5 should be “perfect” and so little in life is that.

Except obviously when it comes to performance based reviews and, greedy corporate types who have a never ending cue of employees to choose from. It's impossible to say any less because you know your damming someone. What happens is everybody starts at 5 stars and works backwards, rather than builds to it.

In an ideal world, 4.6 would be a great rating, from what I've heard however, door dash considers this a death sentence it's crazy.

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Adam Rockwell's avatar

Also, from the corporate side, there are “Performance Reviews” where no matter how well you do, you will never get more than 3-4 stars. Or whatever their rating system is. Don’t even get me started on compensation from DD. 🌟🌟🌟🌟

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Dean FKingGuy's avatar

I've weirdly and thankfully not had many performance reviews over the years. The one that stuck with me however was when I was given 3 out of 5 stars for "attendance". Despite never missing a days work, 5 days a week for a year and, even doing the interview while sick. The reason? "3 stars is doing what's expected of you" they wouldn't tell me how I could possibly get 5. They're forever moving goalposts for these things.

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Lin's avatar

Wild

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Adam Rockwell's avatar

🙂‍↕️🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

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Lin's avatar

‘DoorDash’ seemed so straightforward, yet it carries a clever meaning that didn’t click with me until I read your writing. It was only then that I truly grasped the clever play on words. 😅

My excuse is I use ubereats 😅

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Adam Rockwell's avatar

It’s a pretty good corporate name. Very catchy. We don’t really have Ubereats around here, but we do have Uber. Lots of Doordash workers also are Uber drivers. Honestly, I don’t know how they keep it all straight! 😸🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

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Lin's avatar

Totally Agreed 😃

I am very grateful and appreciative that drivers keep it together 😅

Thank you and appreciate you and your creative genius

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Adam Rockwell's avatar

Thanks Lin!! 😄

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Janice Laz- Romo's avatar

😂😂😂😂😂never laughed so hard. I am a frequent dashee so it really hit home. You described Subway exactly! Anybody work here and how about an inch of enthusiasm. Thank you!

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Adam Rockwell's avatar

Thank you so much, Janice!! I appreciate that (I am also a frequent Dashee tbh hahah) 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

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JGPryde's avatar

If that was your take on the Tuna Boat, I’d hate to think what deep dark thoughts you have for your local Subway. Are they even still in business????

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Adam Rockwell's avatar

😹😹😹

Oh, they're both still in business.

Subway "ain't got not meatballs," but all of my animosity lives with the fishmonger.

Heck, he probably doesn't even own the boat LOL!!

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Nur Nadar's avatar

😂 😂 😂

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𝐂𝐁 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧's avatar

There’s a sushi triangle in Newport?!? Good to know! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️🌟

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Adam Rockwell's avatar

Oh yeah 🫨 Tengu Sushi, Momiji (there’s also one in McMinnville), and Asciatico. Cuisanako is also a new one but not as much Sushi, it’s awesome!

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Monica P.'s avatar

⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️. I was afraid to give you anything less. 😂

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Adam Rockwell's avatar

That’s a good idea!! 🛥️🧐Thanks Monica 😄

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