The Unexpected Exorcist: Episode 34

Demonic Incursion

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<Episode 33 | Table of Contents | Episode 35>

New episodes every Tuesday and Thursday at 3 PM PDT!!

- Adam Lutzi Rockwell

The DED HQ

Sister Catherine and Uziel rushed up the hallway of the DED headquarters. They were five minutes late for the meeting. She kept glancing down at her watch.

They stopped outside room number eight. Sister Catherine took two deep breaths. Then she took the gum out of her mouth and stuck it to the side of the wall.

“Couldn’t we have just called in by Zoom,” asked Uziel.

“Uh, no, I don’t think the Director would be into that.”

“How do I look?” asked Uziel. He was filthy. Mud on his neck. Torn jacket. Cuts and bruises everywhere.

Sister Catherine wasn’t much better.

“You look great. Come on,” she said, opening the door.

Inside, the lights were dimmed. There was a long, white conference table with twenty seats on either side. Candles were lit and placed in the center of the table.

Thirty of the seats were taken by holy men and women of all religious traditions. Priests, rabbis, imams, nuns, monks of both Tibetan Buddhism and Catholicism, and two Hindu gurus with long white beards. There was also a woman in her early sixties wearing a sweater with a kitten printed on it.

Rabbi Adam Green sat near the door and waved to them.

Director Kyabse Jinpa Rinpoche sat cross-legged in his chair at the head of the table. His hands were in the Prayer Mudra pose, palms together in front of his chest. Everybody was quiet, watching the Director.

Sister Catherine and Uziel broke the silence of the room with their entrance. Director Jinpa remained in meditation.

Rabbi Green whispered to Sister Catherine, “He’s doing his astral projection thing. He’s been sitting like that for the past two hours. The meeting hasn’t started.”

She gave him the thumbs up and they found two seats next to each other near the door.

“Astral projection?” Uziel asked. “Come on...”

“Yes, astral projection. Director Jinpa is the world’s most renowned astral projector.”

Uziel shook his head in disbelief.

“Next thing I know one of you is going to whip out a crystal ball.”

“Shelly keeps the crystal ball in her office,” said Sister Catherine.

“What?”

Director Jinpa suddenly opened his eyes. He was back. He took a few deep breaths and put his glasses back on.

The Director immediately saw Uziel and Sister Catherine. “Good, we have our newest member to introduce. This is Special Agent Uziel Axe. He is our new Adept Seer. Natural born. He is also the DED’s very first atheist exorcist!”

The entire group burst out laughing at the word atheist. Director Jinpa shushed them, smiling. “Introduce yourself, Uziel.”

Uziel stood like a kid in fifth grade giving a book report. “Hello, everybody… um… I’m Uziel Axe. I’m from Milwaukee…”

“Atheist!” one of the priests blurted out. “I read Sister Catherine’s field reports over the last few days. How are you still an atheist?”

“I might be tracking a bit further towards agnosticism these days,” Uziel said.

“I bet! You have exorcised major demons… been to The Planes of Purgatory… been attacked by a familiar! How could you be an atheist?” asked the Priest, exasperated.

“I think,” Director Jinpa interrupted, “… we should have this theological discussion at a different time, when our troubles are resolved. I call the meeting to order.”

Uziel sat back down, frowning at the Priest.

The lights were brought up. One of the Marines stood behind Director Jinpa at the back of the room.

“On to business,” said the Director. “I just returned from the astral-plane and have been questioning many demons and spirits. The demons have been very tight-lipped. I can confirm that the bombing of our armored car facility was a hit by the demons. We pray for the lives of the twenty-seven people lost.”

All of the gathered DED members bowed their heads and prayed in their own ways.

“Sister Catherine,” said the Director, “Please give us an update on your mission.”

“Thank you, Director,” she said. “Agent Axe and I have spent the last twenty-four hours investigating the Oregon Cold Storage facility. The lighthouse. A familiar made his way to the island and released Ahriman at the behest of Beelzebub, The High Demon of Hell and Lord of Flies. Ahriman has been putting up a call to convergence to Legion.”

The holy agents murmured, talking amongst one another in hushed tones.

“The familiar was our custodian, Jerry Smeltzer. He had stolen one of the keys to the holding crypt and was under the influence of Legion. He is currently being transferred to our Supermax in Colorado for questioning and holding.”

More murmuring.

“Sister,” said Rabbi Green. “Did you say Beelzebub?”

“Yes, I did. He has been orchestrating the chaos that has been occurring everywhere. But that’s the least of our worries. All Hell is about to break loose. We also have confirmed that Beelzebub has only one mission. Release his Legion from our storage crypt at the Pentagon. Oh right, and kill Agent Axe.”

“Kill Agent Axe?” asked the Director. “To what end?”

“The Legion believes that Uziel… excuse me, Agent Axe… had made an agreement to remain neutral in the fight between demon and man, but we do not know when.”

Uziel interjected, “I would like to add that I have no idea what they’re talking about. I have no memory of this. I didn’t even know demons existed until a couple of days ago!”

“It is not your fault, Agent Axe. We will have Shelly see if she can get through any memory blocks after the meeting.”

“Who’s Shelly?” asked Uziel.

“I’m Shelly. Dr. Shelly Peterson,” the woman with the kitten sweater said with a thick Minnesota accent. “I specialize in crystal-work, past life regressions, tarot, and I’m also a Jungian specializing in repressed memory retrieval.”

“What?” asked Uziel incredulously.

“Oh, and I speak with the dead. We’ll figure you out alright, Agent Axe, don’t you worry one bit! We’ll find out what’s going on up in that noggin’ of yours.” said Shelly.

Uziel shook his head. “Is this for real? This whole God damn… dang last couple of days have been insane!”

“I can assure you that everything is very real, but we all understand how hard this transition can be for a new agent. Especially one not trained in the arts of Spiritual combat. Yet,” said Director Jinpa.

Uziel sat and put his head on his hands on the table. “Spiritual combat…”

“It has been a trying time for all of our agents. We still have forty agents in the field,” said Director Jinpa. “This room is everybody we have to defend the Pentagon’s storage crypt. The DED must do everything we can to keep the world safe from our greatest adversary, Beelzebub. Now, is there any other business?”

“I just met with our CI, Malphas,” said Sister Catherine. The entire room groaned.

“Malphas? That turncoat? We should have sent him back to Hell years ago!” said Rabbi Green. “He does nothing but lie.”

“Maybe so,” said Sister Catherine. “But he confirmed that Beelzebub is headed to the Pentagon through the convergence call. It isn’t just Beelzebub headed to the Pentagon. It’s all of them.”

“All of them?” asked Director Jinpa.

“As many demons as they can muster,” said Sister Catherine.

“There are over five hundred demon souls held at the Pentagon, if I need to remind any of you,” said the Director. “Our time is limited. We need to get to the Pentagon. Now.”

The lights in the room suddenly jumped from white to red. An alarm sounded.

A computer-generated voice came on over the loudspeakers, “Intrusion Alert! Intrusion Alert!”

A loud explosion rocked the entire room. Some of the ceiling tiles fell onto the table.

“Oh no,” said Rabbi Green.

“Everybody, steel yourselves and defend our headquarters!” yelled Director Jinpa who then went back into meditation.

“Quickly!” yelled Sister Catherine. Everybody jumped out of their seats. Director Jinpa remained in mediation. The Marine immediately ran to the door.

“What the hell is going on?” Uziel asked.

“That’s the demon bell. Follow me.”

All the exorcists and seers rushed into the hallway which was blazing red with alarms and lights.

Uziel followed Sister Catherine and the Marine into the hallway.

The DED HQ - Hallway

The red blinking lights made it difficult to see anything.

The conference room was just up the hallway from the entrance. The entire hallway appeared blood red from the emergency lights.

The Marine Guard was in front of them and had his machine gun aimed down the hallway. They moved slowly toward the airlock. It was open.

The other Marine lay on the floor in front of the airlock. Blood poured out of his ears. His neck was broken, and he lay contorted.

The exorcists crowded into the hallway.

“Split up!’ yelled Sister Catherine. “And don’t bunch up!”

Immediately, half the group went down the south hallway. A couple had pistols in hand.

“What do we do?” Uziel asked Sister Catherine.

“We move,” said Sister Catherine.

Sister Catherine tapped the Marine on the shoulder and he cautiously moved forward. Uziel was close behind her. Several exorcists were behind him.

“Could somebody turn that darn alarm off!” yelled Sister Catherine.

The alarm stopped. The lights continued flashing red.

They moved slowly toward the entrance.

Two steps forward and the muzzle of a M16A2 rifle popped out from inside the airlock. It fired off a three-bullet burst. The entire burst went directly into the chest of the Marine.

Bullets burst through the soldier’s back, just missing Uziel.

Two more bursts. One hit a Benedictine monk square in the head, and he went down. The rest were covered in blood spray and carnage.

Everybody instinctively dropped to the ground. Everybody except Uziel.

“Back into the conference room, people!” yelled Sister Catherine.

“Uziel Axe!” yelled the demonic voice of Azrael. “I want him now! Put him forward!”

From behind the cover of the airlock walked Brother Ricci. He pointed the rifle down the hallway right at Uziel who stood frozen.

Sister Catherine picked up the dead Marine’s rifle and stood. She pointed the gun right back at Brother Ricci.

“Get back in the room,” she yelled. “Get Uziel out of here. I got this!”

Uziel pulled his Glock-19 from its holster and pointed his gun at Brother Ricci from behind Sister Catherine. The demon had a strong blue auric glow.

“I’m Uziel Axe!” he yelled, stepping over the dead bodies below him. His face dripped in blood.

“I have been ordered to bring you to justice, Uziel Axe,” said Azrael. “The Legion has decided your betrayal warrants death.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ve been told,” Uziel shouted.

“You’re not getting him, you vile being!” yelled Sister Catherine. “He is one of us now!”

Twenty yards separated Azrael from Uziel and Sister Catherine.

“Come with me, Uziel Axe, and there will be no more death here!”

“We don’t negotiate with demons! Now drop the gun!” yelled Sister Catherine. “You’re not getting him!”

“What do you want with me?” yelled Uziel. “Why am I so important to you?”

“My Master wants you. You have deceived him and you will pay the ultimate price!”

Sister Catherine took a decisive step forward and aimed the gun at Azrael’s head. “Drop that gun, Demon, or I drop you!”

A priest poked out his head from around the corner at the far end of the hallway and threw what appeared to be a grenade. It landed at Azrael’s feet.

Azrael looked down and BANG, a smoke grenade exploded under his feet. The hallway was instantly filled with thick white smoke.

Azrael quickly spun around and began shooting randomly. He was out of bullets in just two seconds.

“Come on, Uziel,” said Sister Catherine. “This is our chance. Take him down.”

Uziel could see nothing through the heavy smoke but the blue aura that stood in the center of the hallway. It had the shape of a tree.

“I’m on it,” said Uziel. Holstering his pistol, he charged up the hallway.

Azrael flailed around confused by the smoke. Brother Ricci, its host, was a short man.

Uziel brought his foot up and kicked him hard on the side of the face with the bottom of his right boot.

Azrael stood firmly and grabbed Uziel’s ankle, turning it hard and bringing him down onto the ground.

Uziel’s head bounced off the linoleum floor.

He was out cold.

Azrael was much stronger than any of the exorcists had anticipated.

Sister Catherine shouted into the hallway, “I need a seer! Now!”

A small Tibetan monk poked his head out of the conference room, and then came and stood beside Sister Catherine.

“What do you see, Dolma?”

Dolma peered into the smoke. He pushed his demon glasses up and squinted. “I see… nothing. There is no demon there.”

DING.

The elevator bell rang.

“Somebody, vent this smoke! Whose idea was that smoke grenade?”

Nobody said a word.

Sister Catherine could see nothing. She moved slowly forward into the smoke with Dolma next to her.

She took one careful step at a time.

A whooshing sound whistled up the corridors. The smoke vented quickly.

When the smoke was gone, so were Azrael and Uziel, like a bad magic act.

Sister Catherine ran to the airlock.

“Dang it!” she screamed. “They already went up the elevator. Somebody call security upstairs!”

Dolma picked up a wall-mounted phone. No tone.

“They cut the hardline!” Dolma yelled.

Director Jinpa stood behind Sister Catherine and put a hand on her shoulder. “Do not worry, Sister Catherine. We will find him.”

“There’s only one place they could be going,” said Sister Catherine.

“The Pentagon,” said Director Jinpa.

“Yes.”

“Let us move,” said the Director. “Time is not on our side. But first, we must make a stop. I shall order all available exorcists to the Pentagon to hold an outer perimeter. Come with me, Sister Catherine. We have business to attend to.”

“Lead the way, Director.”

FEMA HQ - Main Lobby

The elevator to the Demonic Exorcism Division’s headquarters opened. Azrael had his arm around Uziel’s chest, holding him upright. Uziel could barely walk thanks to the blow to his head. Everything was spinning.

The main lobby of FEMA was mostly empty, but a few people were exiting.

Azrael walked Uziel right out the exit turnstile. Nobody knew about anything that had happened 220 feet below the surface in the DED offices.

Azrael was able to stumble walk Uziel right out the front door. A guard eyeballed them.

“He is drunk,” said Azrael.

The guard didn’t say anything, just shook his head.

Sitting outside FEMA HQ was the armored Sprinter Van. The side door slid open and Azrael lifted Uziel up into the back.

Uziel was seeing stars from the blow to his head.

“What’s going on?” Uziel asked. “Where are we going?”

Azrael did not answer him. Tony Frontado’s dead body lay in the back of the van next to the holding case.

Uziel lay on his back and the door to the van closed quickly.

Azrael got into the passenger seat and Beelzebub hit the gas. The van disappeared into traffic.

Sister Catherine rushed out of the front of the building.

Nothing. They were gone.

She got on a walkie, “I don’t see them. They’re gone.”

<Episode 33 | Table of Contents | Episode 35>

New episodes every Tuesday and Thursday at 3 PM PDT!!